Hey hey! Happy Friday! We’ve got a true, babblings’ ramblings, stream of consciousness blog post for you hoes. I hope everyone’s had a better week than I have, may this give you a little humor and perspective before this long weekend 🤞🏻 comment, like, & subscribe

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What the actual fuck is my life? It’s like these canon events never end and you could say oh yeah everyone’s life is like that. FUCKKKK NOOOOOOOOO! Not like this are you joking. At this point I’m worried people are going to start thinking I’m the problem but I’m not! The shit just comes to me! This shit never ends and my saturn return hasn’t even started. Now I know I’ve talked about how I feel the last year has been setting me up to reap rewards and learn even better lessons during my saturn return but jesus christ ya’ll.

First of all why do I always have fuck shit neighbors???????? Since I’ve lived alone I’ve had the weirdest neighbors. From Joe who was my landlord/neighbor/coke addict/overdosed in the apartment next me to the boys in the alley (where I actually felt the safest) — I’ve seen it all. And they always drag me into THEIR shit. Joe wanted to date me so bad and the week leading up to his death was constantly on my shit, trying to talk to me through my window, and said the weirdest but most profound shit that I didn’t think someone with so much coke and steroids in their body was capable of. We won’t even get into the nun that lived in the apartment on the other side of me and how she got kicked out.

Now I’m a very nice neighbor and easy tenant. Partly because my anxiety makes me keep myself from ever doing anything that would cause a landlord to confront me about something and I hate tension. Another one of my issues is that I often let people think they know more than me. “Oh really” or “hmm I’ll think about that” often come out of my mouth when in fact this is something I’ve known all along and will not be taking their advice into consideration. So yeah I smile, offer community-ish, say hello, ask about your cousin, etc. etc. etc. The problem is yes I’m a happy, happy, joyful person. But underneath ALL that healing is still a crazy ass bitch. Because I present in that happy way and maybe people assume naive way, motherfuckers love to push my boundaries. And the funny thing is I let people do that because I don’t stand in people’s way of showing who they really are and if I put everyone in their place I’d have no time to do anything else. Until it’s too far, the mask falls, and now I’m plotting on how to ruin your life.

And I don’t mind people perceiving me as naive or as a push over. I kinda do that shit on purpose, it’s a game, it’s a facade. Unless you really know me you don’t know I peep everything. Every underhanded comment, side eyes, weird fuck ass energy, how your actions don’t match up with words, I peep it all. I file that shit away so I know who I’m dealing with, but I rarely let other people’s actions cause me to show up as a different, unhealed version of myself.

But this past Sunday triggered that very angry bull I hide underneath all the fluff.

Once again I have annoying neighbors. New tenants moved into the upstairs unit about a month ago. For context I live in a basement unit in an old row home in DC. There’s no sound proofing or privacy. Every creak, foot step, laugh I hear. But that also means I hear all the bad shit too. So since these motherfuckers have moved in they been fighting. Like crazy screaming fighting for WEEKS on end. Now I was going to move at the end of the summer and my landlord is an even bigger piece of shit so I was like whatever they’re probably breaking up I’ll just let that shit lie.

Till this last Sunday at 6:30pm. I’m fresh off a boozy brunch with my aunt, enjoying my giant veggie and turkey sandwich before meeting my friend to see Thunderbolts, when once again fighting commences on the front porch. Nothing new until I hear him yelling “SHUT THE FUCK UP” over and over again. Then scuffling, then screaming, crying. She’s yelling “GET THE FUCK OFF ME” “DON’T TOUCH ME” “LET ME GO”. And I’m like are yall fucking kidding me right now is this argument about socks really escalating to this point. I know it was about socks because I hear FUCKING EVERYTHING!

I get up trying to figure out what I should do as it’s clearly escalating to violence. Then, something (someone) gets slammed to the ground above me and instinct takes over. I think back to this memory and remember a split second where I thought “What are you going to do?” it wasn’t really a question my feet were already moving out my door, up the steps to the front porch. In my mind this was no different than if it was my mother, my sister, my friend. Screaming, crying, and violence still erupting upstairs. The front door open I see my neighbor looking like a scared animal pinned down in the corner. Her partner holding her down, him screaming in her face, and my switch fucking flipped.

We don’t need to get into all the tea of my life right here, but just know the bull full of rage and anger I keep nurtured with love, healing, therapy, and energy work couldn’t stay contained. It wasn’t a matter of freeze or flight, it was a matter of: oh I’m bout to FIGHT.

So I yell, he yells at me, charges towards me only to slam the door in my face cause really we’re talking about a little bitch that abuses people he knows he has control over. And guess who’s not afraid of anyone 🙂 I called the police, he got arrested, yada yada. But what’s really pissing me off is this after math. Because obviously they’re back together living upstairs. It’s the trying to contact me and enmesh me in their sick little game. It’s the slight attempts at intimidation like stomping around at 6am or staring out the window at me as I leave or enter. Which I know because I’ve had my people with me coming and going all week who look for me.

[REDACTED]

News flash YOU DON’T KNOW ME. My people aren’t coming and going to protect me, they’re babysitting me. Because next time I see you it’ll be a good day if I call the police. Getting arrested again would be a GOOD DAY, compared to the shit I’m really on 🙂

People always wanted to comment on where I lived before, but I was actually the happiest and felt the safest surrounded by people that actually look out for their neighborhood. You think I wanted to call the police??? You’re talking to an ACAB bitch! Fuck no I didn’t want to call them but at the end of the day I’m not bout to sit down here and listen to you murder your girlfriend. AND THAT’S THE TEA 😘

Anyways don’t worry I’m moving. But don’t be surprised if you see me with a mugshot in the next week before I do 😊

Sound off have yall had crazy neighbors or just me and my family?????

xoxo,

ali ann